HA!

2010-03-18T16:41:00.001-05:00

I just found a Goddess Nursing bra in MY size (at least I hope so, it's a cup size and a band size smaller than the slightly too big one I'm wearing now), New With Tags on Ebay for $12.98, shipping included. I have $14 and change in my checking account. Guess who is (FINALLY) getting a new bra?!?!

Night Terrors? Sleep walking?

2010-02-15T15:31:00.001-06:00

Friday night Isaac had an AWFUL episode! I woke up because he was wimpering, as soon as I touched him he took off-- first down into the space between the bed and the wall, when I pulled him out of there I tried to cuddle and comfort him, he screamed bloody murder, got away from me and got down UNDER the bed (he NEVER goes under the bed!) I was afraid he'd hit his head, so I pulled him out from there and he took off running into the living room. He hid in the corner and screamed for awhile, then he threw all the toys in his toy box at me one at a time. He calmed down for a few moments here and there and I'd think it was over and then he'd start screaming again.

I know it lasted for AT LEAST 20 minutes (it was 2:40 when I looked at the clock the first time and after 3 when he stopped) If I had never heard of night terrors I would have been really, really freaked, as it was I was freaked enough I wanted another sane and awake adult to talk to and called the my nurse line (tha's how I knew when he was REALLY awake, he said "phone" and tried to take it away from me) her information said that night terrors don't usually start until after 3 and that they usually last less than 20 minutes. This is really not an area I want my kid to be ahead of the curve on!

He's had a few episodes of having "tantrums" where I wasn't sure he was really awake, but that's always been after I've carried a sleeping boy up from the car. This was the first time from a sound sleep in our own bed and it was a DOOZIE! I was afraid to fall asleep Saturday, in case he had another one (Friday night he woke me up 20 minutes after I fell asleep, the WORST time to be woken up!) So far no repeats....

Any body have any experience or advice? I don't think we did anything new or different Friday.....

I KNOW Better!!!

2010-02-05T14:21:00.002-06:00

Than to comment on how well Isaac sleeps! But Sunday I made a public comment about how LUCKY I've been in the sleep department. STUPID!!! We immediately got the stomach flu, so you can GUESS how we spent Sunday night and Monday night! We did NOT want too sleep Tuesday night because we got our days and nights switched around, he woke up SCREAMING at 4:30 Wednesday morning and didn't fall back asleep until almost 6. He woke up 3 times Wednesday night. And w don't even want to talk about the over tired MELT DOWN he had when we got home last night, or about how he woke up screaming and crying 2 more times after that.

Really, I have learned my lesson and will keep my mouth shut now!!!!!!

And I promise I'll post new pics soon.....

HOW did this happen?

2010-01-24T14:54:00.001-06:00

Isaac is TWO today! It seems like I just brought him home from the hospital yesterday. I took the weekend off work to spend with him, but we're keeping it pretty low key. We spent yesterday playing with the cousins and today we're just hanging out eating home made chocolate sour cream cake. I am AMAZED by how much cake one little boy can eat!

YESTERDAY

2010-01-17T14:29:00.002-06:00

My apologies to anyone in the Windsor Heights Hy Vee who had their ear drums shattered; a BIG thank you to the lady who asked if I needed help; and big fat raspberries to the old man who told me all about how "WE" raised 5 kids and then gave me impossible to follow advice! To bad there wasn't an old lady there to tell the REAL story about how "WE" raised all those kids! And isn't that weekend sale AWESOME? 77 cent 2 liters are worth a little screaming!

WalMart bargains!

2010-01-15T15:53:00.001-06:00

I don't know about the other WalMarts but the Windsor Heights one had some GOOD boys clothes on clearance-- it was boys stuff, not toddler's but for $3 each I got Isaac some size 4 stuff to grow into-- a reversible camo/olive green hooded zip-up sweatshirt and two outfits with long sleeved T shirts and pants. FIve pieces of clothing for $9! That's better than some thift store prices!

Nice Day

2010-01-07T12:27:00.001-06:00

There is something so relaxing about snowy days you know you don't have to go out in. Especially when the house is clean, the dishes are done, and there's home made soup in the crock pot!

Mental Picture of the Day

2009-12-08T15:03:00.001-06:00

Isaac dancing around to the radio, wearing nothing but Elmo mittens!

I am SO glad we're still nursing!

2009-10-23T20:44:00.001-05:00

Isaac has had the "crud" most of the week. Spiked a temp and vomitted at Kari's on Tuesday, and has generally been feeling cruddy since--a little less energetic and a lot MORE fussy and a little warm. He ate lunch really good on Wednesday, but other than that he hasn't eaten much this week and isn't drinking hardly anything. But he IS nursing-- lots and lots and lots. I have a feeling that if he wasn't nursing we would have been considering IV fluids. And I might have been fired for missing work! Instead he's been holding down Kari's couch and the only impact on my work is giving my boss a heads up that Kari will be calling if she needs me to come get him!

Whew! It's been ages since I updated this!

2009-09-30T21:50:00.001-05:00

I've been working way too much (I'll even have OT on my next check) on one hand the money's nice, on the other, the more you make the more you spend. Less cooking, more drive thrus; less mothering, more childcare; more driving and more gas money; less sleep, more caffeine. The apartment is the same level of mess, but it's the hurried, jumbled mess, not the "we stayed home and made a mess" mess.

Isaac is perfect :) He's at a stage right now where he happily RUNS into Kari's or Grandma and Grandpa's when I drop him off and comes RUNNING to me even MORE happily when I pick him up! He's going to go get his flu shot tomorrow. I didn't do it last year-- he was a breastfed baby who rarely left his house. This year he's a (still breastfed) toddler who spends a lot of time at Kari's or Grandma and Grandpa's with school age kids, who're supposed to be the main carriers. He's FINALLY starting to grow serious hair-- but I still haven't had to have it cut though!

He's also still a CHARMING little flirt! We were at the WIC breastfeeding fair yesterday (I'm a brand-new, still in training breastfeeding peer counselor!) and I think he had flirted with every woman in the room by the time we were done! I'm not sure if his demonstration of a breastfeeding toddler playing "peek a boobie" helped or hurt though, we had 3 or 4 one swallow mini nursing sessions. OTOH, it did allow a discussion on weaning ages-- one of the pregnant mom's watching him asked how long you're "supposed" to nurse. My answer was 3 days or 3 years,or more, if that's what works for you, every little bit boosts health and reduces formula costs, and then mentioned the AAP and WHO guidelines.

I also mentioned how relaxing having a nursing toddler is--no pumping or worrying about milk supply because they're eating, and on the days where they don't eat much, you don't worry because they're still nursing. And that comfort nursing toddlers (and babies) are less likely to end up in the hospital for dehydration, always an important consideration, but especially with all this flu talk....

The hard drive on my computer DIED a month ago, I just got the replacement (AND installed it myself!) TODAY.

I also totally fell off (jumped off?) the WW's wagon-- went to a meeting on August 24th, then not again until September 29th. I was expecting to have gained 10-15 pounds, so was VERY pleasantly surprised to findout I had lost 2. I've been hovering around 305 since the end of May (or maybe it would be more accurate to say I've been BOUNCING up and down from 310ish to 301ish for that long) Anyway, it's time I should seriously consider if I have some kind of mental hang up/ block about breaking the 300 mark...On the other hand, I ALWAYS do better at home than at work, and I've been working a LOT...

Score!!

2009-08-31T16:30:00.001-05:00

It pays to sign up! I've gotten 3 coupons for FREE full-sized boxes of cereal lately, 2 from Vocal-point and 1 from Kashi. The first Vocal point one was for a free box of any variety Rice Krispies and then this weekend I got 2 samples of the Kashi Honey Sunshine (1 from Vocal-point, 1 from Kashi) both with coupons for free boxes and several $1.50 coupons. If Cap'n Crunch is one of your secret vices you should definitely try this stuff!

Great deal for the broke, the cheap and the caffiene addicted

2009-08-12T17:50:00.001-05:00

My wal-mart had 6 pack cans of their store brand pops for FIFTY CENTS TODAY! My broke addicted a** made the switch from Dt Dew right then and there!

Weight Watchers, Busy-ness, and Mommy Guilt

2009-08-03T20:23:00.001-05:00

Today was Weight Watcher's day -- I skipped last week because we were at the Doctor's office for Isaac's 18 month and my depression follow up. I got weighed at the doctor's office but didn't log it; I thought her scale was being much to kind, especially when Isaac weighed lighter than I thought he should too. So today I was VERY pleasantly surprised. I still haven't broken through to the 2's but after bouncing between 304 and 306 for WEEKS, I'm at 301.6. Kind of surprising since I've been VERY, VERY bad about tracking lately.

On the other hand, we have been ACTIVE! Last Monday we had the Doctor's appointment in the AM, and then went and played in the mall play area and mall walked with Emily and Brody. Tuesday Isaac has his first dental appointment (he has 16 great looking teeth) and we played outside for a while. Wednesday we ran errands, played outside and got together with Megan from Visiting Nurses. Thursday Isaac went to Kari's and played while I went to the dentist, then we hit a few garage sales and an AWESOME KMart clearance sale. Friday I worked. Saturday we picked up some hand me down clothes from a ReUseIt member (THANK YOU! They're AWESOME clothes!) then we went to the park and wading pool and then we went to the Laundromat. (How many activity points do you think it is to get 3 laundry hampers and a sleepy toddler down and then back up to a third floor apartment?) I was hoping the park and pool would tire Isaac out and he'd sleep through the laundry. WRONG! No nap until in the car on the way home! I left him in his car seat while I put all the laundry inside the front door, then I put him in Cherie's stroller on the first floor while I carried all the laundry to the second floor. Then I carried him all the way up to third while I took the laundry from 2nd to third! On Sunday we went to the LLL picnic from 2 until almost 6 -- we swam, we played on the equipment, we RAN and Ran and Ran! No nap yesterday either!

So we've been a little bit busy!

Oh and then there was The Burn! Thursday night for supper I was making scrambled eggs in the electric skillet at the table. Isaac was strapped into his high chair well out of reach (I thought!) He undid the straps, stood up and reached! He screamed and I checked his hand and fingers for burns and didn't find anything. I gave him a glass of COLD juice to drink, thinking if he had burned his hand holding something cold would help. Friday when I picked him up from Kari's she asked me about the burn on his WRIST! Poor kid, I must have been holding on to the burned spot when I was looking for burns! I didn't think it looked to bad, but then the blisters broke and it looked a lot deeper than I thought. I was really debating whether I could just keep it clean and watch for infection or if it needed looked at, so I asked one of the nurses in my WW meeting to take a look. She advised getting it looked at, so we went to the Doctor's office where they told us to keep it clean and watch for infection! Oh well, at least now I KNOW for sure that I just need to keep it clean and watch for infection! I STILL feel guilty though! More for not finding the burn than anything! Interestingly, he weighed almost a pound more this Monday than he did last Monday.

PICTURES—ISAAC AT 18 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-28T16:26:00.001-05:00

Isaac's 18 month appt

2009-07-27T12:03:00.000-05:00

We just had Isaac's 18 month appt he's 24.8 pounds and 32 1/2 inches. I REALLY thought he was heavier than that! He stood on the regular scale this time instead of getting weighed on the baby scale. He's right at 50% on Dr Hornbrooks chart for Height, weight and head circumference. She's not worried about him not speaking much either she also thinks it's a lack of willingness to talk, not a lack of ability (of course he was chatting away in Isaac-ese the whole time, when he wasn't chanting Mom over and over and over)

I also had her look up MY heighest weight in her office--I'm down 55 pounds from THAT number, and down 33 from when I started WW!

What a SHITTY Day!

2009-07-16T17:22:00.001-05:00

I did NOT have enough money to get everything taken care of I need to take care of to start with, and then I LOST the envelope with the gas and grocery money in it at Fareway! OF COURSE, no one turned it in! I don’t know what I am going to do!

Important Potty Training Tip!

2009-07-01T23:53:00.001-05:00

When your little boy pees in the potty, wait until he is DONE to start clapping and telling him what a good boy he is; otherwise he'll start his celebration dance early and it will be a pretty good impersonation of a lawn sprinkler gone nuts!

HOT and WHINY!!!

2009-06-27T14:07:00.000-05:00

I am so HOT! I hate it, and I'm stuck here at work while Isaac gets to play at the pool with Grandma and the cousins (yes, I AM jealous of my own son today!)

Profound Thought for The Day

2009-06-23T17:44:00.000-05:00

From Bringing Up Geeks by Marybeth Hicks: "Every decision is a value-laden decision. Even a nondecision is value-laden...."

Ramblings (Mainly about WWs, Bras and Nursing Toddlers!)

2009-06-23T14:54:00.001-05:00

I AM HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I rather it be 40 below-- you can always put ON more clothes, but you can only take so many off, and it doesn't help much anyway!

I weighed in yesterday--NOT good, I gained 4 pounds, but then again I JUMPED off the wagon for 4 days-- IHOP, Ice Cream, donuts, milk&cookies, and grilled cheese sandwiches! I'm back on the wagon again, but I'm struggling a little...

In the Non Scale Victories department, I have a bra that (almost) fits! I guesstimated the size I would need and got an $80 bra off EBay (new with tags) for $20. My old (STRETCHED out) nursing bras are 50Is (in FanceeFree, a brand that runs small in the cup) and the 2 regular bras I have are 50Hs, I knew I needed a smaller band and possibly a larger cup. My guesstimating was further complicated by the fact that this isn't a brand I've worn before (Beauty by Jeunique), and that it has half cup sizes (HH between H and I, II between I and J, etc...) I ended up with a 44II thinking that I would have to wear it on the loosest hooks and then tighten it up as I lost weight. Instead I AM wearing it on the tightest hooks!!!!!!!! And the "girls" are up on my chest, not down around my waist! AND it's comfortable! I DID guess a little big on the cup size-- I would have been better off with a slightly smaller cup size, either an I or an HH, the I would probably be a little loose at the beginning of my shift, but the HH would probably be tight by the time I got home. That's the ONLY thing I DON'T like about it - the cups are not adjustable, my old bras had 3 positions so you could adjust for engorgement or whatever. Even though Isaac doesn't nurse often, he nurses A LOT at bedtime--too bad I don't have ounce markers on my breasts, because I bet he drinks a GALLON as soon as we get home from work/the sitters, one of these night's I'm going to record the chugging noises! So needless to say, by 10 pm I'm feeling more than a little FULL!

Anyway, if you are looking for a plus sized nursing bra, I can recommend these, especially if you don't need to adjust the cups. I went back to EBay and put a whole bunch of the smaller ones on my watch list so I could find them again! Until I win the lottery, hit a lasting plateau, or reach goal I'll be guesstimating, instead of going into a shop and getting fitted....

The Weird Things You Look Forward To!

2009-06-17T16:41:00.001-05:00

I GET to have a tooth pulled tomorrow! It's been bugging me more and more, and now I'm actually excited about it! Do you think it will help with the Weight Watchers thing, or do you think I'll use it as an excuse to cash in all my free birthday ice cream (Culver's, Cold Stone Creamery and Baskin-Robbins)?

TIRED!!!

2009-06-16T20:11:00.001-05:00

I am so tired! I didn't have to be at work until 6PM, and Isaac went to the sitter at his normal time. The plan was to clean house. I got the living/dining room vacuumed, answered my email and then I took a NAP!!! I really needed it, but I think I'm even more sleepy now than I would have been if I hadn't taken it. On the other hand my headache did go away! Sometimes a four hour shift seems like four DAYS and there just isn't enough Dt. Mt. Dew in the world!

I hit my 10%!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-15T15:46:00.002-05:00

I've lost 10% of my body weight since February 2! I was a little surprised at Today's weigh in, I was a BAD girl on Saturday-- I didn't just fall off the wagon, I jumped, laughing and screaming, into half a dozen cookies, a big breakfast, and blue cheese dressing on my salad! Either Isaac kept me active enough to burn it all up, or the scale is lagging behind my behavior again, or a bit of both.

I've also ran up the stairs again a couple more times! On most trips up those stairs I'm hauling Isaac, my book/diaper/work bag, laundry and or groceries, so it shouldn't be surprising how easy they are when I'm empty handed, but it feels good!

What will feel really good is that sometime SOON my weight will start with a 2, not a 3-- I'm at 304.8 now and averaging 1.7 pounds a week, so it will be SOON!

Isaac Time

2009-06-11T12:10:00.002-05:00

I took Isaac to the wading pool and the park yesterday and forgot to take my cell phone (which also functions as my watch). It was a blessing. With no way to tell time I was free. I let him play in the wading pool until he turned blue and was ready to get out instead of for some arbitrary number of minutes. Then I put clothes on him and let him play in the sand until he was grubby and tired. I think it had been way too long since I let myself simply exist on Isaac time without worrying about where we needed to be or what we needed to do next. And best of all it was FREE, got to love the city parks and wading pools!

I LOST ISAAC!!!

2009-06-09T21:28:00.002-05:00

Actually, I've lost 1 1/3 Isaac's! The girls at work compliment me on all the weight I've lost, but it hadn't really registered on me. Thirty-two pounds just doesn't seem like a lot when you started at 338. I can't really SEE the difference, even though some of my clothes are loose. But last night I finally got a handle on exactly how much weight I've lost. I'd just lugged Isaac up all those stairs for the five thousandth time and was nursing him, letting my mind wander as those relaxation hormones hit me and I transfered all those immune boosting antibodies, comfort AND calories directly to him. I was musing on how BIG and HEAVY he is now and how fast he's grown when lightning struck and I realized that he weighs about 24 pounds and I've lost just over 32. No wonder I feel more energetic-- that's one and a third Isaac's I'm no longer lugging EVERYWHERE! And if losing this many Isaac's makes me feel this good what will it be like if I reach goal and lose another six or seven Isaacs? I think the Isaac is my new unit of measurement. After all losing 6 or 7 of something sounds a LOT easier than losing a 164 of something! The only problem is that it's an ever changing unit-- as time goes by I'll have fewer Isaacs to lose, but an Isaac will be bigger!

Hear Me Roar!

2009-06-01T20:31:00.001-05:00

I FINALLY got the (great, big, heavy) bookcase headboard on my bed. That would be impressive enough if I had done it by myself, but I went for a greater degree of difficulty-- Isaac "helped!"

WW update

2009-06-01T17:07:00.001-05:00

I think the scales were off at the Urbandale WW's office last week. I weighed in on my normal scales today, and according to them I gained 1.6 pounds. *shrug* The only thing I think we can say for sure is that I've lost 5.7 pounds in the last two weeks and 32 pounds total since February 2. Neither of which is as exciting as RUNNING up the stairs the other day!

Weights and Motivations

2009-05-29T18:48:00.002-05:00

Isaac got his weight rechecked Wednesday--he's at 23 pounds even now-- after losing an ounce in 3 months he turned around and gained a pound and 3 ounces in a month. Holy Growth Spurt, Batman! We didn't measure his height, but I think he's gotten taller this month too, he's not any bigger around.

And I weighed in at the WW's center in Urbandale right after that. Our normal Monday meeting was canceled because of the holiday, and I do NOT do well when I miss meetings. In fact, if I were Queen of the World, Weight Watchers would meet daily but you'd only weigh in once or twice a month. Anyway I'm not sure I believe their scale out there-- according to them I lost 7.6 pounds last week. I didn't even lose that much my FIRST week. But after gaining last week it sure felt good. And even more importantly VERY soon I'll be below 300 pounds, it might be next week or next month, but it WILL be soon. Even though it's not about the numbers that will feel VERY good.

At the meeting Wednesday, Ann, the leader was talking about motivation. And how it was the avoidance of pain that motivated people to join WW, but it's the pursuit of pleasure that keeps you going and leads to eventual success. She was talking about all the times she hit rock bottom and joined WW, and the other "rock bottom" moments that brought people to WW.

I think I must be weird-- I've had some rock bottom moments, and while they may have earned me a stay in the psych ward, they never motivated me to really change. And I don't think I'm motivated by the pursuit of pleasure either-- it'd be nice to shop at Wal-Mart instead of on-line, to be free to go where I want and not worry about fitting, or to look dead sexy, but those things have always been there and I've never really pursued them.

What motivates me is love. (How's that for melodrama?) But seriously, it's all about the MonkeyBoy-- keeping up with him so I can help him down from whatever trouble he climbed up to, setting a healthy example for him, and simply being healthy and around to see what he does with his life. And it's also about learning to love myself-- after all any woman who produces such a wonderful little boy must be pretty wonderful herself, right?

I don't know for sure, but I think my motivation says VERY good things about my chances for long term success. I'm sure that there will be days (or even weeks or months) when I fall (or jump!) off the wagon, but I am VERY confident I WILL get back on and reach my goal (or at least a MUCH healthier place) in the end.

A Missed Teachable Moment

2009-05-29T01:37:00.002-05:00

Why is it that it’s the things that you did NOT say that bother you so much afterward? I’ve been bugged for over a week now about what I DIDN’T say. Isaac and I were at a playgroup in a park when one of the little girls asked her mommy “Why is that lady so fat?” I wanted to answer her question myself, but I didn’t want to embaress her mom so I pretended not to hear. It was the wrong decision! The child wasn’t embarrassed, I wasn’t (that) embarrassed why should her mom be? And if her mom IS the type To BE embarrassed, she already is, wondering If I heard.

So I SHOULD have answered for myself. I REALLY wish I’d told her “That’s a VERY complicated issue, but the easy answer is that for most of my Life I’ve eaten a lot even when I wasn't hungry. I've eaten Because I was mad, or sad, or bored, or because MY Feelings were hurt. You should only eat when your tummy is hungry and you should TALK about how you feel. But I’m learning and doing better now and in a year or two I won’t be nearly so fat! I”m glad you asked, because that IS the only way to find out, but some People are REALLY upset about how they Look and their feelings Might get Hurt, Even when you don’t mean too.”

It would have answered her question, it Might have taught her to be sensitive to fat People WITHOUT joining us, AND it would have left her feeling Like it is ok to ask questions!

Please excuse all the weird capitol letters my computer is giving me fits!

2009-05-28T15:13:00.001-05:00

Ha! I RAN up the stairs to my apartment! I didn't know I could do that!

2009-05-27T01:58:00.001-05:00

She's ok!

SCARY! SCARY! SCARY!!!!

2009-05-25T21:48:00.001-05:00

One of the little girls down on second floor just fell down the WHOLE flight of stairs to first floor! I REALLY, REALLY think it was a scary accident, not a serious one, but we made her mommy lay her down and held her still, put some ice on the knot on her head and called 911 to be SURE. Luckily most of us were out in the hallways so there was plenty of help. I was sitting at the top of the third floor stairs, letting Isaac run in circles; the big boys in the 2 north side apartments (there are 4 offices on the first floor, 4 apartments on the 2nd floor and 4 apartments on the 3rd floor) of my floor were going back and forth to each others apartments; and the little girls Grandma (the building manager) was talking to one of the other boys trying to figure out whose laundry was in the drier. Alana just bolted out past her Grandma and headed right for the stairs and down she went. I could hear every thump even up on third floor. I don’t even remember picking Isaac up and going down the stairs. I remember hollering for her Mom not to pick her up or move her, but I’m not sure she heard me. When I got down there I helped her Mom lay her down and look her over good—she was bleeding just a little bit from her mouth, but I’m pretty sure that she just bit herself with those brand new sharp teeth of hers, and she had a great big knot on her head. The upstairs neighbor and I held her still and checked her over, the big boys called 911, got ice packs and let the paramedics in, the 7 and 8 year old watched Isaac and Alana’s sister. Her mom was VERY upset, but she finally calmed down, Grandma was calmer, but feeling so guilty. I think Ann and I got them convinced that it was a lot more scary than serious, that the calmer they were the calmer SHE would be and that crying and screaming are GOOD things. I think she’ll probably get a head CT and/or kept over night for observation, but will be ok. I sure hope so.

Another Glorious Mess!

2009-05-20T03:48:00.001-05:00

At least this time I had enough sense to undress him first!

Another Glorious Mess

At least this time I had the sense to undress him first! He’s eating barbecue beans and ham, he LOVED them and kept eating until he was potbellied and all of it was either “in him or on him!” but I thought I had gotten VERY heavy handed with the garlic (I made it from scratch with dried navy beans)

Trying to get video to work!

2009-05-20T03:12:00.001-05:00

the First Glorious Mess I cought on Video

2009-05-19T17:08:00.001-05:00

just testing the mobile Blog thing

Monday—MY Friday!

2009-05-18T23:51:00.001-05:00

Yeah I know, you all spent the day complaining about “Ugh, it’s Monday!” But I worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Today and I have the next THREE days off—if I had enough energy left I’d do a happy dance!

I got up later than I meant too, which meant I had to rush Isaac and I around to get to the 11:00 WW’s meeting. I had all I could do to change his diaper, nurse him, give him some toast and juice, get dressed, change his diaper AGAIN, get him dressed, vacuum REAL quick and be sure all the dishes were in the sink and rinsed (the maintenance guy is HOPEFULLY coming to fix my oven soon, so I HAVE to keep the place company ready!) before running out the door.

Isaac had his traditional lunch at the meeting a “protein pack” (strips of ham, turkey, white cheese, yellow cheese and a small cup of cottage cheese), a bottle of water and pretzels from the Atrium, except today we branched out and he had Baked Lays instead of pretzels. He entertained every one at the meeting who either hadn’t met him or we hadn’t seen in a while (we usually go at noon) he was in Full Charm Mode and REALLY got into celebrating peoples Milestones (My weigh-in was as bad as I thought I gained 2.8 pounds, yes I know that’s a lot, but it’s a small percentage and I’m getting back on track!). The new leader was great, but I’m going to MISS Sandy!

Then Grandpa came by work (I do WW through work!) and picked Isaac up and he rode along to Grandpa Newt’s doctor appointment. I went and put gas in the car (I bet the QT guy LOVED me, I put $4.80 worth of gas in my car, and paid mostly in nickels and dimes!) Then swung by home real quick, carried some pop up, washed my hair, brushed my teeth (I did mention how rushed we were this AM, right!?!) and took all the garbage out. Then I made a flying trip to Urbandale to pick up a FREE (well except for the time and gas to go get it!) kitchen scale from one of the ladies on ReUseIt, which will be a VERY helpful tool for WW, don’t you think? It’s nothing fancy—it’s not even digital, but it works! Then I swung by the library and picked up all the books I had on hold (a lot of toddler cook books—I need more ideas for CHEAP, EASY meals for 1 toddler and 1 adult that are either quick or can be put together on my days off, if you’ve got any leave them in comments or email clarencepcanine@yahoo.com or clarencepcanine@gmail.com or even clarencepcanine@q.com)

I about SCREAMED when I got to work—not only had someone REFILLED the basket of Little Debbies, but our boss’s boss had sent us brownies and pumpkin bars and carrot cake. I had a pumpkin bar and a package of swiss cake rolls, so I’ve already dipped into my weekly points! But I DID walk the halls for about five minutes during my break—I know not much. but I gotta start somewhere! Besides I’d already made an extra trip up and down the stairs at home (I live on the THIRD floor!) So I am just about ready to go to bed! It WAS a good mail day—three things in the mail, one coupon booklet (including FREE Ketchup!) one $1 off Luvs coupon and a free sample of shampoo and conditioner—no junk and no bills!

And apparently Isaac had a GREAT day too—completely charming Grandpa Newt, Grandma Bert, the doctor and everyone else he encountered – and then right before I came to pick him up he LITERALLY butted heads with Grandpa—Grandpa was still bleeding when I got there. Isaac has a HARD head!

Tomorrow will be a little busy—the toddler LLL meeting is at 10AM and then we’re picnicking in the park. Wednesday I have to go to Ankeny to pick up some (FREE! from a ReUseIt member) boys clothes, and then at 6pm a registered dietician is giving a talk in the building we live in. And Thursday is our Visiting Nurse day (she just comes and plays with Isaac and we talk about child development stuff and whatever else is going on, she’s WONDERFUL!) And somewhere in all that I have to fit in the bill-paying and errand-running and all the other chores that get put off until my day off!

Anybody have a winning Powerball ticket???? Or a Fairy godmother with time on her Hands???

2009-05-18T01:08:00.001-05:00

Just trying to figure out how I’m going to stretch this weeks paycheck far enough—I think I will HAVE to call qwest and see if I can make a payment plan. I HAVE to pay the babysitter for the month ($30 a day, $390 for the next 4 weeks) I HAVE to pay the car insurance (about $50), I HAVE to buy diapers and wipes, he’s out at the sitter’s and nearly out here (I MIGHT have to break into my emergency diaper stash before I make it to the store Wednesday), I NEED to gas up the car (I spend a little under $40 every two weeks for gas, I’m also due for an oil change), I NEED to buy a few groceries (thankfully not many! I have almost 8 pounds of ham, 10 of chicken hindquarters, 2 pounds of ground beef already browned with peppers and onions and put in 2 cup baggies, and left over shredded chicken and black beans in the freezer, so I need a few veggies, fruit, and we’re out of chicken nuggets and fish sticks, and we’ll be out of TP before the end of the week) I NEED to feed my Dt Dew addiction (I can only “fix'” so many things at a time, my weight and managing money better come first). It would be really, really, really nice if I had some extra money to STOCK UP on diapers and a few other things since I have some $5 Babies R Us coupons, 1 for their store brand, and 1 for Huggies or Pampers that I think I can stack with a manufacturers coupon, and if I had money to spend while I was there I could stock up on baby shampoo, etc—store coupon AND manufacturers coupon. And we won’t even talk about how badly I need new bras, the fact that I am currently holding up most of my pants with rubber bands or pony tail holders, or the fact that I haven’t had my hair trimmed since I was pregnant. Or that I REALLY need to go to the dentist.

OK, pity party over. One thing I REALLY need to do is to start taking my dinner to work—I’m pretty sure that the cafeteria and pay roll deduct is an evil plan to see to it that we don’t take much of our paycheck home! Another thing I need to do is go re-apply for food stamps. When we were homeless they cut our benefits because we didn’t have expenses, and Isaac’s bout with stomach flu coincided with when I needed to appeal. I thought I was going to make it without the food stamps so I didn’t worry about it, but now I think I better, I’m not sure we’ll qualify though—the story of my life seems to be that I make to little to manage and to much to qualify for assistance.

UGH

2009-05-17T19:53:00.001-05:00

I have REALLY fallen off the wagon the last few days with Weight Watchers—my eating hasn’t been great and my tracking has been HORRIBLE, it’ll be “interesting” to weigh in tomorrow, although I’ve noticed the scales tend to run a week or two behind my behaviors, so it might not catch up with me until next week. Oh well, the number of times you fall (or jump with hearty abandon!) off the wagon isn’t nearly as important as the number of times you climb back on! I DO wish I could blame it all on the coworker who brought in a great big honking basket of Lil’ Debbies and other assorted treats (did you know a large Star Crunch or a 2 pack of those chocolate covered peanut butter wafers are SEVEN POINTS?!?!?!?!) But she just left them in reach, she didn’t force feed them to me!

Awwwww…..

2009-05-16T20:46:00.001-05:00

I think that this may be my FAVORITE picture of Isaac-- his mischievous spirit and sweet personality, not to mention all of his ENERGY seem to come through in this one. My step-mom (have I mentioned how much I adore her?) took it on Mother’s Day.

Which reminds me—I HAVE the solution to the energy crisis, I just need to figure out how to implement it. All we need to do is to tap into the energy of little boys!

Happy! Happy! Thank You Nice Couple!

2009-05-16T16:11:00.001-05:00

Isaac went to picnic in the park with Grandma and the cousins at 12:30 and I didn’t have to be at work until 3, so I took the opportunity to shovel out the car and cash in all the pop bottles/cans from home and the car all by MYSELF! As I was shoveling out the car and chucking the loose bottles into a shopping cart a couple pulled up in a NICE SUV and the man said he had a present for me and gave me 3 MORE bags of cans. Between his and mine I had $15 worth! So I went down the road to Fareway and used my 5 for $11 Dt Dew coupon!

Isaac’s First Birthday

2009-05-16T01:05:00.002-05:00

Here are pictures from Isaac’s first Birthday (January 24) We just got together with family for cake and Hawaiian Punch by the play area at the mall. Isn’t that suit ADORABLE? I forget whether I got it at Salvation Army or Goodwill, but it was a god buy either way!

Flickr

2009-05-15T08:07:00.001-05:00

I didn’t post here yesterday but I did get some pictures uploaded to Flickr

A GLORIOUS MESS!!

2009-05-13T17:09:00.002-05:00

Even though I’m the one who has to clean them and him up I take great JOY in the unfettered freedom of little boys to make Glorious Messes! For those of you wondering what’s on the menu it’s the last of the black beans and chicken I made the other day (well, except for what’s in the freezer) served as sort of a stew or hot dip with home made baked whole wheat tortillas and topped with cheese, salsa, onion and fat free sour cream. Very nutritious for growing boys and weight watchers friendly to boot! I just take the set points for cooked black beans and chicken, then measure and count the sour cream, cheese and tortillas! Now I need to go give someone a bath……

UPDATE: It was even a MORE glorious mess than I thought-- he had "made room" for what he was eating and it was ALL up his back!

HAPPY!!! HAPPY!!

2009-05-13T00:23:00.003-05:00

When I picked up Isaac from Dad's he had my camera and my Mom's diamond neckalace for me! I figured they'd been sold on EBay or Craigslist long ago. Now I can post Christmas and Birthday pictures either here or to Flickr and take more (and better!) pictures to inflict on you all! Maybe she realized that if she wanted to see pictures of Issac she'd better return the camera? I don't know, but it feels like a late Mother's day present!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-12T19:10:00.002-05:00

I spent the last of my money yesterday with a 3 for $8 Dt Dew coupon so OF COURSE when this week’s ad comes out Fareway has a 5 for $11 coupon!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE to keep my redneck savings account (AKA pop cans and bottles) in case I run out of gas; I THINK I have enough gas to last until payday, but I don’t want to chance it, besides I’m not sure I have enough cans and bottles for $11, plus $1.50 in deposit, plus the taxes. If I still have plenty of gas Monday though I’ll be cashing them in to see….

Oh and if you're looking for CHEAP eats, Fareway has eggs for 49 cents a dozen!

Busy Day!

2009-05-11T23:38:00.001-05:00

Got up a little before 9, nursed Isaac, fed Isaac breakfast, got us dressed, sorted laundry, gathered up the trash, vacuumed the bedroom, loaded the laundry in the car, went to the gas station and Wal-Mart, went to Weight-Watchers, ate lunch, went to Fareway (Dt Dew coupon!) took Isaac to Kari’s (she’s the sitter) went to the laundromat and did a big load, went back to Fareway for more Dt Dew, swung by home, hauled clean laundry up to the third floor and stinky trash down (always easier without Isaac’s help) went to work, picked Isaac up from Kari’s, hauled Isaac and some of the pop I bought up to the third floor, nursed Isaac to sleep, and now I’m updating my blog!

I’m tired but I’m all productive feeling! AND I lost another .6 pounds!

Breastfeeding Toddlers

2009-05-10T21:37:00.001-05:00

Apparently there’s an online breastfeeding carnival called "This is what nursing a toddler looks like," I learned about it here while going through my favorites (I haven’t taken time to READ blogs in so long, I couldn’t even remember what some of the favorites I have saved were ABOUT. Anyway, even though the only camera I have is my cell phone I thought I’d participate! And yes, Isaac IS “talking” on his cell phone in the top picture while he nurses—he’s WAY to busy to only do one thing at a time!

YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-09T11:39:00.001-05:00

Just 3 words—Chinese Buffet Diapers

Parenting philosophy, goals

2009-05-08T20:56:00.002-05:00

I’ve really been pondering this whole parenting thing recently and how you make clear to children what it is you're trying to do and what you want for and from them. I know we all say we want our kids to be “happy” or to be “productive members of society” but happy in what way? What kind of productive? Is it all measured in dollars and cents? Or in that inner sense of well-being and contentment? Or a bit of both? And even if you know exactly what you’re aiming for – an individual who’s not afraid to march to the beat of his own drummer, to do the things he has an interest and a passion in, to BE interested and passionate about the world and the people in it, a man who finds MEANING and takes PRIDE in whatever he does in life, whether he’s an artist or an athlete; a high powered exec or a stay at home dad, or ALL of those things at various times in his life; how do you make him understand that? I’m sure my Mom and Dad had specific goals in mind for me, but if you’d asked me when I was growing up I would have said my Mom’s guiding principle was “What will people think?” and my Dad’s was to keep Mom happy (not a bad goal, we all know “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t NO ONE happy!)

I think I’ve found a book with some good ideas “Bringing up Geeks” By MaryBeth Hicks (and when I googled just now to be sure I had that title right I found a website too) but I’ve only read a few pages. I’m also working my way through “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” which is a lot more immediately applicable and also a very good book. But the bigger questions take more time to ponder—toddlerhood is mainly about keeping up with him and seeing the world through his eyes—all fascinating and new and exciting, and helping him explore how it works and what the rules are, right now he’s all about the physical and the present. The future and ideas are not that important to him—YET.

Thoughts?

Thank you Bob!

2009-05-08T20:07:00.002-05:00

Last week I was definitely having one of THOSE days! First Isaac took my BRAND NEW, uninsured (of course!) Samsung Juke and dunked it in the toilet until it drowned. And then I, in an attempt to dry it out, put it on the counter by the stove thinking it would warm up and dry out while supper baked. It might have even worked, BUT I got distracted, BURNED the chicken and the phone got too hot and WARPED. I tried posting a wanted on our local ReUseIt group, hoping someone had upgraded and had an extra phone but no such luck. So I tried posting a wish at www.wishuponahero.com asking for a phone—hoping that someone somewhere had an old junky one they could spare—the Juke was NICE, but it’s WAY more important to be able to call someone to get me and Isaac when the car breaks down than it is to be able to load up an audiobook to listen too! And almost INSTANTLY a nice gentleman named Bob offered me a phone (his company had just upgraded) he not only shipped it to me—he sent it priority so I’d have it SOON! So if you need something OR have something to offer www.wishuponahero.com is a site to remember! (as is your local ReUseIt or FreeCycle group!)

MORE PICTURES!

2009-05-07T20:31:00.003-05:00

Isaac and his cousins at the park!

click on a picture for a larger view

Yummy!

Awwwww.....

"Hey, your shoes are untied!"

Pictures!

2009-05-07T19:51:00.003-05:00

His Highness!

click on a picture for a larger view

The above were all taken April 17th

AHHHHH………

They look so sweet!

YAY FOR ME!!!

2009-05-07T10:06:00.003-05:00

It's 10:06 AM, Isaac and I are up and dressed, he's picked at his breakfast, the living room is vacuumed, I'm poaching some chicken and making home made chicken stock and have some black beans washed, sorted and soaking! (I'm thinking some kind of chicken/black bean soft taco or burrito on Saturday) Does anyone know if you can freeze beans after they've been cooked? And now I'm going to change a diaper and then the Visiting Nurse should be here.

Another thing learned the hard way!

2009-05-06T17:06:00.001-05:00

Do NOT nurse your toddler while listening to head banger music!

HA!

2009-05-06T14:34:00.002-05:00

I ate lunch for free (always good!) at KFC. http://www.unthinkkfc.com/ for your coupon. The grilled chicken is pretty good, but guess what? I think my roasted chicken hindquarters are BETTER! And I was shocked-- I stole a potato wedge from Isaac's kid's meal (he had green beans too!) KFC's potato wedges used to be my FAVORITE, but I think I like my home made roasted ones BETTER! Go ME-- healthier AND cheaper!

Randomness

2009-05-04T21:03:00.000-05:00

No idea what I want to write about today, but I wanted to post SOMETHING, just to get in the habit. Carla's took some GOOD pictures the last few "grandkid weekends" I'll get them resized and posted soon.
Isaac and I might get together with Carla and her Mom Sunday-- that would be GREAT-- I was kind of anticipating a lonely kind of day. One of the downsides to being a single mom- with no Dad around to organize the Mother's day thing, when your kid is little you get nothing-- Isaac is brilliant and precocious, but he's not up to home made cards yet, let alone making breakfast (We won't talk about the time he climbed up on the pantry shelf and I ended up with a WHOLE 18 OUNCE box of Cheerios on the floor and him eating his way through the pile!)

So going out with Carla and Grandma Joan sounds like a great idea. I've only met Grandma Joan once but she's really, really nice and spoils Isaac shamelessly from a distance. And I adore Carla. I kind of thought it might be weird to have a step-mom, my parents were married FOREVER before my mom died but it's not weird at all, it's a very comfortable relationship and totally different than what I had with my Mom-- there's not all the history and tension and complicated feelings that there were with Mom. Plus it's very hard NOT to adore someone who loves your Dad and your son as much as Carla loves Dad and Isaac. Grandma Lil may have sent Isaac down from Heaven, but having Carla here to Grandma him is a priceless gift too-- every one needs Grandma'd

Why I need to blog

2009-05-03T23:34:00.002-05:00

Something I said to somebody in an email got me thinking about why blogging is good for me and why I NEED to do it more often. It's an adult conversation that I can have at anytime, that I can easily drop and pick up again as Isaac or other things interrupt. The fact that the "conversation" is mainly with myself or mostly imaginary people out in Internet land is immaterial when compared to the fact that it might be the only conversation I have for WEEKS that goes deeper than the surface of things. Down to things that really matter. And that it helps me organize my thoughts and feelings. If I can't get my "insides" organized how will I ever get the OUTSIDE organized?

Or I can talk about mindless things if I want, like how absolutely incredible Chocolate Frosted Mini Wheats are, and that they're only 3 WW points a serving (without milk, I've been eating, and COUNTING, them right out of the box!) Or about how adding 2 Tablespoons of peanut butter when making sugar free vanilla pudding (you have to use an electric mixer though!) calms my craving for a peanut butter milk shake from DQ. Or how I made my own seasoning mix (1 part poultry seasoning, 1 part seasoned salt, 1 part onion powder and about 1/2 a part garlic powder) and I've been using it like crazy to make both roasted potato wedges and baked chicken hindquarters (at $3.90 for a 10 pound bag with a coupon from Fareway I have a freezer FULL of chicken hindquarters. Potatoes have been CHEAP lately too-- $1.18 for a 5 pond bag at Hyvee last week Plus Isaac LOVES roasted potatoes!)

Cleaning-- Simple vs Easy

2009-05-03T23:28:00.001-05:00

OK, I REALLY need to get more organized and into a daily cleaning routine! I'm putting together a household notebook (http://notebook.organizedhome.com/) and it's helping some already.

For a little while I was in the habit of setting the alarm on my cell phone and hitting snooze repeatedly -- alternating 8 minutes of cleaning/dishes with 8 minutes of sitting on my butt or playing with Isaac. It's amazing what you can get done in 8 minutes, especially with some rocking music! (I LOVE pandora.com where you can program your own radio station, my "cleaning" station has AC/DC and Hank Williams, Jr as it's main influences!) I KNOW that if I could just get in the habit of doing THREE things EVERY day BEFORE work (rinse and put all dishes in sink, pick up toys, books, and pop bottles, and vacuum) and FOUR things every night before bed (do the dishes, pick up toys, books, and pop bottles, pick up clothes, and organize for the next day) I'd be in GREAT shape! And for those of you wondering about why I have pop bottles everywhere, they're Isaac's FAVORITE toys-- they make GREAT sounds when you hit things with them and there are HOURS of entertainment to be had taking the lids off and on and off and on...)

Three things before work and four things after, it's so SIMPLE. *SIGH* I often feel like my purpose in life is illustrating the difference between SIMPLE and EASY! Losing weight, cleaning and organizing, budgeting...do I really need to go on?

UPDATE!!!

2009-05-01T23:37:00.000-05:00

OK, OK, I'm REALLY going to start writing here more, and I MEAN it this time! I mean I just KNOW that there are MILLIONS of people out there in internet land just DYING to hear about my life, right?

Isaac had his 15 month check up Thursday-- he grew an inch and LOST an ounce, nothing to really be concerned about but we'll weigh and measure him again in 3 or 4 weeks. I thinks it's just because A) he's had a lot of colds and viruses the last few months and B) he's ACTIVE and C) his paternal genetics may be at work, his father's skinny. Dr Hornbrook agrees with me-- that might have something to do with the fact he was using her as a jungle gym while she and I were talking, climbing from the floor to the stool to the raised bench she was sitting on, AND he was blowing snot bubbles the whole time! Despite the fact that he's stretched up a little while his weight held pretty steady he's still got a tummy and a roll of fat on his thighs-- but I remember how chubby his thighs used to be with roll after roll! I think when they gave him his shots he was wishing for some extra padding!

I'm REALLY struggling with the money thing again! I need to work more hours, but that means paying more child care, spending less time with Isaac, AND I'm at my limit on how many hours I can work AND still keep the apartment clean and livable. I'm hoping that as the Weight Watchers thing progresses I'll have more energy and will be able to do more. In fact, even though I've only lost about 25 pounds I feel stronger and more energetic. I think climbing those stairs has something to do with it too, we're living on the 3rd floor in a building without an elevator. It's going to be a LONG SLOW proccess though-- it's taken me since February 2nd to lose those 25 pounds and I still have about 175 to go! Although it's NOT really about numbers on a scale, or how I look in the mirror-- it's about how I FEEL and about keeping up with a little boy who moves at the speed of light! Sometimes I feel like an Eyeore mom trying to keep up with a Tigger baby. But it is SO important that I don't slow him down!

I'll try to post some pictures soon. I no longer have a camera though, so all I have are cell phone shots, I'm hoping Carla, my step-mom, will take some for me this weekend!

Wow, it's been a YEAR?????

2009-01-25T19:45:00.003-06:00

I can NOT believe Isaac turned a year old yesterday! WHERE did the year go??? And where is my little baby??? Everyone tells you "they grow so fast!" But you don't really understand until you turn around and your little baby isn't a little baby!

I need to get this updated but my laptop is broken, so in the meantime here's some Birthday pictures!

BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC

2008-07-01T04:46:00.003-05:00

Before Isaac was born I KNEW I was going to breastfeed, but I worried about doing it publicly -- would people stare or comment or be rude, COULD I do it discretely? I quickly learned that most people either didn't notice or didn't care. The rest responded positively, even in the places I most expected to hear negative comments, like restraunts. I was SURE the older lady at B-Bops was going to say something, but the second time she looked she caught Mary feeding me while I fed Isaac, I was braced for negativity and I got a laughing lady who remembered "those days!" (and seemed kind of glad they were over!) In the beginning I dragged a blanket everywhere (of course it was WINTER) and attempted to cover up. I quickly learned that attempting to juggle a blanket in addition to the (wiggly) baby, the (stupid) bra and the (large) breast actually drew at least as many eyes as it deflected and this being IOWA it got HOT. Bye-bye blankie! And except for the moments of latch and unlatch I am surprisingly discreet.

Here's a picture-- go ahead and play "find the boob" I'll wait....

And just for comparison and because I'm into public humiliation here I am in my swim suit....

So after being braced for criticism for so long in places where I expected it, I guess it really, really bothered me to finally run into it where I LEAST expected it-- at the Y, sitting under a banner that said "The YMCA: We build strong kids, strong families, strong communities" It seems obvious to me that breastfeeding is key to developing strong kids, apparently Arica at the Y sees it differently...Isaac and I had been waterwalking and after changing in the small STEAMY and not very clean family locker room I sat down in some VERY comfortable chairs in the hallway to feed him. (Swimming always makes him HUNGRY) He ate without incident (one lady walked by and said "cute baby") for several minutes when a young staff member (at least I assume she was staff, red shirt but no name tag) approached me and asked me to move back into the yucky locker room. I refused and she scurried off. And then Arica approached....

Instead of getting all worked retelling the story, but I think I'll just post the letter I sent to the YMCA:

Mr. Jamel Crawford

Executive Director

Grubb Center

YMCA of Greater Des Moines

1611 11^th Street

Des Moines, IA 50314

Dear Sir:

The promise of the Greater Des Moines YMCA is:

I'm writing to inform you of an incident that occurred Thursday, June 5 that broke that promise and infringed on my baby's legal right to eat wherever he happens to be when he's hungry. (I've enclosed the relevant portion of the Iowa Code for you.)

My 4 month old son and I had just finished water walking and used the family locker room to change (only one of the two was open and it wasn't very clean) I then sat in the comfortable black chairs in the hallway and proceeded to feed my very hungry baby. One lady walked by and commented that I had a very cute baby. Several minutes later a young staff member (at least I assume she was a staff member, she was wearing a red shirt but no name badge) came and asked me to move into the locker room. I pointed out that Isaac had the right to eat in comfort and that the locker room was not comfortable or a suitable place to eat. She left and I was approached by Arica (who was wearing her name badge).

Arica asked me to go into the family locker room to feed my baby. I told her that I had just been in there and that if it was NOT a suitable location to feed a baby. She then asked me to go into the regular locker room. I declined and informed her that state law said my baby could eat anywhere we had the right to be. She told me that this had nothing to do with state law and I should be considerate to other patrons. When I asked her if any other patrons had complained she did not answer me, going on instead about there being a lot of children in the building and the fact that I didn't even have a blanket. I think she was confusing breastfeeding which is inherently child-centered with something adult natured. In my experience kids (except for baby-mad ten year old girls) don't even notice when I'm feeding, and as you can see from the picture a blanket is not necessary for discretion anyway! Not to mention how unhealthy it is for a baby to be under a blanket overheating and rebreathing their exhaled CO2.

She harassed me for several minutes before she finally gave up, trying to either get me to move into one of the locker rooms or use a blanket. I asked her if bottle-fed babies had to have a blanket over their heads and she just spluttered. I asked her if she and the other staff ate in the locker rooms and did they ask all the other patrons to eat in the locker rooms. She told me (while standing in front of a vending machine full of food) that NO ONE was supposed to eat in the Y.

The whole time she was breaking the law and telling me not to feed my baby where I was she kept saying that it wasn't about the law. She also kept harping on the presence of children which leads me to believe you'd find Big Bird, Buffy, and Cody helpful in training your staff, as this issue was addressed on Sesame Street years ago. The relevant clip is even on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3DWRhfNm4c

If you wish to encourage mothers to feed their children in a certain area that area needs to be clean, comfortable, NOT claustrophobic, easy to find, and fast to get to when you have a baby that’s screaming or about too. The public relations ramifications of harassing mothers also need to be carefully considered. I’ve already mentioned this incident to my La Leche League group, my family and friends, and my co-workers. I’m sure next time I update my blog I’ll be posting about this—and while my blog is small and personal - tags like lactivism and fat acceptance (I don’t think she’d have harassed me if I was a cute little 34A) draw traffic and attention.

As the morbidly obese mother of an infant I have two main goals in life-- to be sure my son has a better, healthier life than me and to be around to see him live it. I KNOW breastfeeding is an important step in meeting that goal, and if you read the enclosed information you'll know that too. I thought getting a membership to the Y and beginning to exercise with my son at a young age was also a step in meeting that goal, was I wrong?

Sincerely,

Sarah Cassill

Now I sent this letter a week ago, by certified mail no less, I wanted them to have to sign for it and I wanted to know they got it. But I haven't received any acknowledgement from them, granted I didn't specifically ask for any, but I kind of thought that when someone takes the time to write a letter and then the money to send it special the need for a reply was implicit.

I also included a copy of Iowa's public breastfeeding law and ProMoM's 101 reasons to breastfeed Maybe I'll hear back from them soon...

We're Still Alive (and not flooded!)

2008-06-14T18:04:00.000-05:00

OK, OK I promise I'll start updating this more often, in fact I have a first class rant coming as soon as I can quit spluttering and articulate my outrage, but first an update. We got moved to Des Moines and are living with my little sister and her hubby. It seems to be working out great! Isaac loves having 3 of us around, someone is always in the mood to cuddle or play. In a few years if he hears "NO" in triplicate he might not be so enthralled....And we each have our roles too-- I'm the boob lady, Auntie M is the bottle lady, and Uncle is the spoon jockey, if one of us girls tries to take over the spoon he makes it clear that we are doing the WRONG JOB and should leave it to the expert! I think my job is safe though.

Anyway at his May 21st doctor's appointment he was 14 pounds and 4 ounces. and either 24 or 25 inches long, I don't remember which now. He LOVES to be UPRIGHT and MOVING, I think he's going to be an early walker-- he has a Galloping Jumparoo, an exersaucer, and a walker and he just moves from one to the other.

Getting Big!

2008-03-25T10:23:00.000-05:00

Just had our 2 month Dr appt. He's 12 pounds 12 ounces and 23 inches long!

RANT

2008-03-23T00:30:00.000-05:00

Some idiot keeps our apartment building's freight elevator stuck on 3rd floor. I live on the 5th. For 3 days I've tried to take my garbage out, but I am not lugging a baby and my garbage down all those stairs or all the way to the passenger elevator. I swear if I find out who it is I'm going to leave a garbage bag full of dirty diapers and 2 dead mice by their door.

I will not miss living in this place!!!!

Pumping

2008-03-22T05:23:00.000-05:00

Does anybody actually like pumping? I feel like a dairy cow--MOOOO!!!! From reading discussions online I think I'm one of the lucky ones--people either feel like cows or failures, at least my bottles fill. MOOOOO..... It's cold, impersonal, and boring. And since it takes both hands I can't even do anything else at the same time to distract myself! Nursing is warm and close. I have Isaac to watch. I can do it one handed (or with the right pillows in the right spots and a bit of luck, I can have both hands free) so I can read or surf the web if I want. But watching Isaac at the breast usually fascinates me. The pump demands no attention but won't let me do anything else either. I try not to watch the clock (but it seems like that's all I do at work!) I try not to watch the bottles-- they actually fill slower if you think about them. I try to close my eyes and imagine Isaac but the pump is SO artificial it's difficult. Even though Isaac suckles a lot harder than the pump he's easier on the breast, he soothes instead of irritates.

I WANT MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!

The clock isn't moving again.....

Work Time

2008-03-21T23:38:00.000-05:00

Hit the snooze one more time. Wake up. Change Isaac's diaper. leave him mostly naked to try to encourage him to nurse. Keep watching the clock instead of the baby. It's late. We need to Hurry. Wonder why he won't settle down to eat. Look at clock again. Gotta get going. Hurry up baby, why won't you settle down and eat?!? Put clean onesie and jammies on Isaac. Get dressed. Brush teeth while Isaac fusses. Find my shoes. Grab my lunch and the empty mini-cooler to haul breast milk in. Get my bag, get Isaac's bag. Keys. Phone. Look at clock again. Gotta go. Wrap Isaac in blanket, put him in the sling, head for elevator. It's stuck on another floor AGAIN. Head for other elevator. Schlep Isaac, both bags and miscellaneous stuff to car. Put bags and stuff in front seat. Put Isaac in car seat in back. Double check straps. Drive across town. Take Isaac, the sling and his bag in to Allison. Tell her what kind of day he's had. Pull myself away fast, don't give myself time to think about it. Drive back across town. Look at clock. Look at gas gauge. Stop to get gas. Park as close to ramp exit as I can get-- don't want anything to slow me down in the morning. Run into work. Five minutes to spare.

All of a sudden the clock quits racing and starts dragging. I work. I pump. I work. I pump. I work. I pump. I work. The clock does NOT move. Finally day shift starts to get her. The clock creeps. I stare at it. I pack up my stuff. I stare at the clock. I feel like a dog straining against the leash. Finally, it's time. Grab my bags. Grab the breast milk from the fridge. Clock out. Run to car. Try not to speed across town. Resist urge to flip off little old man in gray car, doesn't he know he's between me and my baby?

Run in. Hand Allison the milk. Pick up Isaac. Breathe in that sweet baby smell. Kiss the angel face. Tension flows out of me, I'm totally relaxed. I'm back on baby time. But the cruel clock is picking up speed again, heading back to work time.

So much for posting daily.....

2008-03-21T04:38:00.000-05:00

It's my second night back at work and it hasn't (quite!) killed me to be away from Isaac for 8+ hours at a stretch. On the other hand, I don't think I ever really appreciated before exactly how LONG 8 hours could LAST! I miss my baby! And I hate pumping almost as much as I love nursing!

Actually, I've been pretty damn impressed with myself the last 2 nights-- I've gone from a non-Mom who could barely get her self to work on time to a MOM who can get the baby fed and changed, the gear gathered, both of us out the door, deliver Isaac to Allison's place and then get myself to work with 15 minutes to spare! And tonight I didn't even forget anything (I forgot my badge last night). Oh and tonight we stopped at the grocery store on our way to the babysitter's. I've decided to start bringing my food to work. The cafeteria is expensive and not always appetizing and I am ALWAYS hungry and thirsty, I think it's the nursing thing, because it's physical, not emotional hunger. I didn't have a lot of time but I grabbed some Dt Dew (much cheaper at the store than vendo-land), bagels and cream cheese, cottage cheese and some American cheese slices while I was at it, just because what is in the cafeteria is always better with cheese melted on it.

I landed the job in Des Moines so we'll be moving soon. Single parenting up here is like walking a tightrope without a net. Things that are a major crisis here can be handled with a quick phone call down there. And not only is there Aunt Mary and Uncle Rob's free child care, but Grandpa & Carla, and Aunt Rachel and Uncle Nick right across town for back-up. Not to mention that for a little while at least we'll be living rent free with Mary and Rob.

Now I have to figure out how to mother full-time AND work full time AND pack AND move. Not to mention the money thing. I was SO glad I got the job down there BEFORE I had to come up with April rent. But I'll need gas back and forth for a few trips, for the physical and stuff. Probably a Uhaul. And a storage unit for my stuff, it won't all fit into Mary and Rob's place.

I have a to do list a mile long for today, but I NEED to cuddle my little man. Oh, and sleep would be good!

Speaking of sleep, aren't Isaac and His Grandpa adorable???

First Entry

2008-03-10T01:07:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm, The First Entry, I feel like I shouldn't even start until I figure out whether I want to do this here or on LiveJournal or WordPress or what, but I won't be able to figure out which is easiest to work with when you have mommy brain (and are pretty computer illiterate to start with!) without trying to work with them, so maybe I'll just copy and paste the same first entry everywhere until I figure that part out. So if you're surfing other places and run into "Fat Single Mom" it's just me, again....

I also feel like I should have something momentous and important to say, but I don't. Or some rant that's also funny, like how I've been up for 24 hours, NOT because of the rug-rat, but because my caffeine balance has been upset. It's usually a careful blend of Dt Mt Dew (all the caffeine, none of the calories!) and Red Raspberry Dt Rite. But for a change (and because it was on sale) I bought some Dt A&W Cream Soda. Several cans later I'm VERY wide awake only to discover that for SOME reason they started putting caffeine in it! WHY? And did they do the same to the root beer? It's a Good Thing that NOTHING I eat or drink seems to effect the milk monster or I would be SERIOUSLY upset. And when they make a change like that shouldn't they have to put it in BIG letters for the people who DO have serious reactions?

Or maybe some funny mommy story, like how I spent half an hour looking for the crockpot lid and couldn't find it because I had ALREADY PUT IT ON THE CROCK POT!!!! But that's really just way to pathetic to be funny...

So Maybe I'll just post this, and a picture of Isaac if I can figure out how, and then I'll have my first post over with and can get on with it!

Can I mention how much I love this Automatic Sprinkler onesie? Or the fact that every single time I put it on him he manages to pee on it?

Fat Single Mom Takes on the World

HA!